Tonight's a big fundraising bash, and we're all up in arms about what to wear. Does anyone else feel that dressing up gets to be a whole lot more work as you get older? I sure do.

My husband is deciding whether his suit will do or whether he ought to rent a tuxedo. I have two dresses I'm waffling between. The invitation says "black tie optional." I haven't been to enough frou-frou events to know what that actually means!

A good friend of ours, a lawyer who has been consulting with us about how to grow PurityWorks, invited us to sit at his table tonight. Sitting with lawyers is intimidating enough in itself! (-= But John wants us to have this opportunity to see how a fundraising event goes so that we can do one ourselves someday. Oh, boy. I hate asking for money and I hate planning big events. I have some growing to do.

What is it about me that makes me so shy to ask for monetary help when we are providing such great services? Parents love The Princess and the Kiss, they do studies with the Life Lessons books, they go on about how effective they feel these materials are, they ooze with compliments at speaking engagements and pray for us and ask to be involved … still, something inside me makes me nervous - afraid of rejection - shy and awkward.

Well, we're a not-for-profit and we need the money - so I have to get over it!

I've been thinking a lot lately about the verse about overcoming fear and trying to get into the other side of it - the part about the power and love and sound mind that I already HAVE. I'm still trying to tap into that. A lot of self-talk about courage, and that's new for me. I don't think I ever thought much about being courageous before.

When we moved to Orlando, I remember playing Nicole Nordman's song "Brave" all the way here (thanks to my good friend Robin, who built me up by making a new cover for the CD that included the quote: "Lara Croft, stand down - there's a new gal in town"- I'll bever forget that, buddy!). But I don't think I was brave then. I think I was exhilarated by the newness of the adventure. As the days went on and the pressure grew and the challenges mounted, I became very much a coward. I gave in to anxiety. I let the enormity of this gift God has given to us crush me.

Well, it's a new day. It won't be easy, but I'm going to intentionally choose to be brave instead of just singing about it. And that includes the matter of fundraising (gulp).

Yesterday my youngest daughter had her first lesson with a Ukrainian piano teacher. Folks from Kiev are well-known as world-class musicians, and this gal is no exception. But Ukrainians are tough as nails, too, and they don't put up with whining in the least. When this lady told sis in no uncertain terms that she was going to have to sit differently and start playing with the tips of her fingers instead of keeping them flat, it was hard. And she said "no" a lot during this first meeting, though she wasn't cruel.

After the lesson, sis had a good cry and asked if she really had to have a teacher, if she could't have an American teacher, anything to not repeat the experience. But I saw that this was a matter of courage for her. Yes, someone who speaks Russian as a first language is hard to understand. Yes, old habits are hard to break. But when you are gifted as sis is, it's worth the sacrifices to really excel and to grow and to grow up.

Sis is now sitting at the piano with her new chair and her feet on phone books so that her weight is in her feet, not her seat. She sits back far enough so her fingertips can't go past the tops of the keys. And her fingers look just like she took a curling iron to them. (Of course, all of us are allowed to tickle her if we catch her practicing otherwise.) But she is attempting to play with a great deal of courage.

Again, my child's example is for my own benefit. Whether it's fundraising, attending a frou-frou event, rubbing elbows with lawyers or any other of a million transitions from midwest farm community to metropolitan area, I have to be brave. It's God's intent for me to be a strong leader and not turn back or whine.

You know, as I watch sis play this way, I can see a kind of new confidence on her. She looks good with her back so straight. Hopefully, I do, too. (-= Pray for me to keep it up, ok?