Wednesday, March 31, 2010

"Married couples should attend a retreat every year." So says the Kathy family of Chik-Fil-A fame, and I heartily agree. A getaway may not always be as organized as theirs, but time alone is vital to everyone.

I had never been to a WinShape retreat, but since the Chik-Fil-A folks sponsored it, I should have known it would be good. Chik-Fil-A does just about everything well. This gorgeous property (a renovated dairy farm with cow pictures everywhere - how could this not work for a farm girl??) serves all kinds of groups, but what we attended was called a Courageous Hearts weekend.

Yes, and the courage began before we even got there. We got into a fight (loud discussion, whatever you want to call it, it's all the same) in the car on the way about some overseas stuff I want to do. I started off depressed - "What are we doing here?" But our amazing speaker (with some help from the Almighty, of course) started by talking about "scripts" and the fights we have over and over again, and the root causes, pretty much defining everything we had just done!

Needless to say, the weekend got better, and after more teaching and conquering the ropes course with a group of friends (twenty feet in the air with a wire, rope and your spouse will do wonders for your trust issues), we felt much better.

We heard some of the most practical teaching on marriage we had heard in a long time at this retreat, ate some of the best food we've ever had, and stayed in some Class-A accommodations. If you need to pursue a retreat, check it out. We also read Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years on the way, which is a life-changer, especially for creative people like us.

We all need time away to clarify, fall in love again, learn more about caring for each other - so much to learn in so little time on earth. Marriage takes work. It's painful sometimes, it's no Cinderella story. But it makes us into better people, better parents, more capable of changing the world and living with purpose. If you're married and you don't have a retreat scheduled for this year, schedule one now. You'll be glad you did. We are. (:

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